(Ep. 26) The one where I overshare with Clare

In this episode Clare comes back and interviews me! In it I share my journey of becoming a mom, living through a severe perinatal anxiety disorder, and what the long process of recovery was like.

In this episode we talk about:

  • My secret to finding four leaf clovers
  • Becoming unexpectedly pregnant at 24
  • Feeling alone from the very beginning of my first pregnancy
  • My birth stories
  • Feeling like my identity was erased as soon as I got pregnant
  • Having fast births and the association with perinatal mental illness
  • Being separated from my first baby right after birth and the effect that had
  • Feeling unsupported
  • The pressure I put on myself being a younger mom, and wanting to be perfect
  • The questions I still have about my postpartum experiences
  • Reaching the point of being at extreme burnout and still not being able to take a break
  • When the extreme anxiety started to creep in
  • Why I decided to have a 2nd baby
  • My first panic attack – and the many others that came afterwards
  • How quickly and drastically my anxiety escalated during pregnancy and after
  • The intrusive thought that ‘broke the camels back’ and led me to finally ask for help
  • The process of getting help and healing
  • The contradictions inherent in parenting
  • Not feeling like I deserved help and support
  • The contradictions in parenting and motherhood
  • Looking back and realizing how strong I was, even though I felt so weak and sick
  • The strength in reaching out for help
  • The importance in reaching out to safe people and spaces to open up
  • Developing the skills of self care and self compassion
  • My complicated relationship with the idea of self-care
  • Learning to put myself on a level playing field with the rest of my family
  • Story sharing and why it can help both the teller and the listener