(Ep. 18) – Wanting to be Fully Seen with Marlas

In this episode we hear from Marlas, who is a Queer parent, experienced multiple losses, and shares her journey from her lowest point through to recovery from perinatal mental illness. It was such a great conversation, and an honour and privilege to hear Marlas’s story. We do talk a bit about suicide, so if this is a hard subject for you to listen too, please take care of yourself in whatever way you need to, and reach out for support if it’s hitting hard for you.

At the end I share an exciting announcement that you won’t want to miss!

In this episode we talk about:

  • Having multiple losses
  • The effect this had on her relationship with her partner
  • How different the experience was the 2nd time having to access care in less Queer-friendly/more heteronormative spaces
  • Wanting to be seen for who she was and how hard she had to work for her babies
  • Moving one week before her 2nd child was born and how this affected her mental health
  • Lacking a support system
  • How quickly things went downhill
  • Having panic attacks
  • The effect her declining mental health had on her relationship with her older child
  • What stopped her from admitting she was going down a bad path
  • Her rock-bottom moment
  • How she found out she had postpartum depression
  • When she reached out to PPPSS
  • The anxiety of participating in heteronormative parenting spaces and the stress of having to come out over and over again
  • Getting support from us, BC Women’s Reproductive Mental Health, and her GP
  • Taking medications as part of her healing journey
  • How going through PPD gave her the courage to look at other things in her life that were affecting her mental health
  • The insensitive comments from friends about her losses and how that affected her
  • The tattoo she got to commemorate the babies she lost and power of talking to other women about her losses
  • The power of sharing our stories
  • Grounding as a tool to feel less overwhelmed
  • Learning about Intrusive Thoughts and how knowing the science behind these thoughts helped her
  • Making community connections
  • The shame and guilt she felt about working so hard to have her kids and then not enjoying them all the time
  • How hard it is to ask for help, even when we need it
  • The tools she is using to get through the pandemic
  • The stigma still associated with antidepressant and antianxiety medication
  • When she started to feel like she was back to her old self again
  • What she would say to herself when she was struggling the most
  • The power of going moment by moment

Resources

  • MindMap BC: Directory of counselling and mental health supports that are affirming to 2SLGBTQ+ folks
  • Contact Emily about our new support group for 2SLGBTQ+ parents at emily@postpartum.org