In this episode Clare comes back and interviews me! In it I share my journey of becoming a mom, living through a severe perinatal anxiety disorder, and what the long process of recovery was like.
In this episode we talk about:
- My secret to finding four leaf clovers
- Becoming unexpectedly pregnant at 24
- Feeling alone from the very beginning of my first pregnancy
- My birth stories
- Feeling like my identity was erased as soon as I got pregnant
- Having fast births and the association with perinatal mental illness
- Being separated from my first baby right after birth and the effect that had
- Feeling unsupported
- The pressure I put on myself being a younger mom, and wanting to be perfect
- The questions I still have about my postpartum experiences
- Reaching the point of being at extreme burnout and still not being able to take a break
- When the extreme anxiety started to creep in
- Why I decided to have a 2nd baby
- My first panic attack – and the many others that came afterwards
- How quickly and drastically my anxiety escalated during pregnancy and after
- The intrusive thought that ‘broke the camels back’ and led me to finally ask for help
- The process of getting help and healing
- The contradictions inherent in parenting
- Not feeling like I deserved help and support
- The contradictions in parenting and motherhood
- Looking back and realizing how strong I was, even though I felt so weak and sick
- The strength in reaching out for help
- The importance in reaching out to safe people and spaces to open up
- Developing the skills of self care and self compassion
- My complicated relationship with the idea of self-care
- Learning to put myself on a level playing field with the rest of my family
- Story sharing and why it can help both the teller and the listener
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